My husband and I and our son have been put into a situation where we have to make a decison that will affect us going forward.
Nice and vague, no?
Our son has been identified as gifted. Now, we knew he was bright, but we were not expecting the gifted tag. I hate to stereotype, but he doesn't fit into the "typical" idea of what you expect from a "gifted" kid. As was explained to me by a friend when he found out, "But J isn't socially inept!" I guess we sterotype gifted kids as the brilliant, yet nerdy kids who would rather read a textbook than dribble a basketball. J, while he loves reading, is fascinated by all aspects of math and science, and is extremely creative and loves to do all kinds of crafty things, would rather be outside on his scooter or his bike, or just running around with his friends.
We have been gathering information for the last month, trying to figure out the best path to take. We can change his school, and put him into the stand alone gifted program. We can keep him in his home school 4 days a week, and he attends an enrichment program one day a week, at another school. Or we can leave him where he is, in the mainstream. Now, he has been thriving in the mainstream - he has lots of friends, we love the school, and it's close by. We went to an open house for the stand alone program, and while I went in with high hopes, came out rather disillusioned. It felt more like a recruitment / brainwashing session rather than an information session. Tonight, we have the open house at the one day program, which at first was my least favourite option, but now, after talking to people and students and educators, is making it's way into the top two spots. I also feel that leaving things as they are is not a bad thing. He's not bored in class (at least not much, and if he gets ahead, there's enough for him to do to keep him occupied. If he was being disruptive, that's a different story). He loves the school and his friends, but conversely, he is also open to the new challenges a different program may offer.
Is anyone familiar with gifted programs? Any insights or opinions they would share? I swear, every time we get more information, it just makes it all the more confusing. BUt I'm still of the thought that more information is better, so if anyone has anything toshare, please do. Ultimately, I just want the best for my child, which sounds so simple, but in reality, is harder than I thought...
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7 comments:
It's wonderful that you are weighing all options for your son. Trust your instincts. What does your son want to do? If he's happy where he is and he's not bored and is getting the enrichment that he needs, does he want to do something else? My sister went through the full gifted program and no one would ever call her a "nerd" in any sense of the word even though she's half way through med school right now. My boyfriend was also a "giftee" but preferred to spend most of his time outdoors. I went back to the regular program after a year and found my own niche. No matter what you end up deciding, he'll do amazing. It sounds like he's motivated and that you are more interested in preserving the balance (school, social life, exercise, creativity, family) you've already achieved in his life. You can't go wrong with that.
I would go with the one day program. Both of my boys were in the gifted programs in their elementary and middle schools (this was quite a while ago - they are 27 and 30 now). Their GT program involved certain teachers who provided extra projects for them to work on when they were finished with the regular work ahead of time. They had extra, challenging projects to work on but they were still with their usual crowds of friends and it seemed ideal.
Good luck and don't stress over it too much. It sounds like he is a well balanced kid and will do well wherever he is.
Speaking as a kid that had the option (many moons ago) to go into a gifted program, I am glad I didn't. That program was socially isolating for the kids that did it. So they become well-educated, but cut off from their peers. My folks opted for the one day version at my high school and lots of extracurricular activities.
I turned out well ( i think), had friends and am a productive, happy person as an adult. What does your son think of the whole thing? He may have a gut feeling that will help you decide.
I have two gifted children that we kept out of school based (Toronto) gifted streams preferring instead to provide them with additional stimulation through extra curricular activities. One will begin high school next year and the other university. Both express great satisfaction with having stayed in the main stream and not having been taken out one day a week to go to a separate program. They both feel they would have missed too much great stuff in their regular school.
They were both put into early immersion though which is an enriched and enriching environment on a daily basis.
My son does make the distinction though that kids who are math whizzes seem to really enjoy the gifted program and make good friends there.
Close friends with a gifted children (two different families) have opted for the one day a week enrichment. They found that works the best for their children, and doesn't pull the child away from his/her home school and supportive networks. As a former teacher, I might also add that the school should be offering your son "enrichment" work if he IS bored in certain classes. Period. It's their mandate.
My son is 12 and we went through the same thing a couple of years ago. In our area, kids get the one-day-a-week program in younger grades, then have a choice (like you are facing) in later grades. My son is currently in a full-time gifted class and not in his home school.
Even though my son is more like the nerdy stereotype you mention, it was still a wrench to leave his old school behind. However, the school he goes to now has a music program where they learn to play band instruments. That has turned out to be a huge area of interest, which he would not have had access to if he had stayed in his home school.
For what it's worth, the open house we went to was just like yours. It wasn't really useful in making a decision because it was too far removed from what we really wanted to know.
What is more helpful in making the decision is meeting the person who teaches this year's class. Also, my son got to sit in on the class for an afternoon, to see what it would be like. Of course, at that point he had already been in a one-day program, so he was deciding whether to continue or move to full-time.
In the end we went with the full-time program because (this is going to sound snobbish no matter how I say it) the kids were capable of a much higher level of collective interaction than in a regular classroom. What worked best for my son was being enriched by stimulating classroom discussions where everyone participated, rather than doing extra "busywork", or missing out on important (or fun) stuff because he was away one day a week.
I missed this yesterday to my limited computer time. I'll echo those who say, trust your instincts as to where he'd feel happier. He will learn best where he's happiest, no matter the curriculum.
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